pickup fail

I've been steaming ahead with the Audrey in Unst cardie lately. Was feeling quite pleased at how well the sleeve was progressing. It's a short row sleeve cap, with the stitches picked up round the armhole, then shaped with short rows and knitted downwards in the round. I'd not done one like this before, and was pleasantly surprised at how easy it had been. Why, I'd barely needed to give the thing my full attention! This knitting lark is easy!!11! I was at the edge of the precipice of Knitting Cockiness and poised for a great fall. And then, today the sun came out and I looked a little more closely at my recent handiwork. And realised I'd actually already stepped over the edge and been freefalling for some time, but been too dumb to notice :)


Can you see the problem?!

What about now?
Unfortunately, no amount of squinting and pretending will make it go away (I've tried!). I oh-so-cleverly made a nice slipped stitch edge at the front to facilitate picking up stitches, then oh-so-stupidly picked up stitches on the wrong side of it. So there is a plainly visible row of slipped stitches at the join. Doh! One of those late night sessions where you think, Awww just a little bit more... maybe I could actually finish this bit, wouldn't that be ace... Hmm, my vision might be a little blurred with sleepiness and/or gin but I'm having fun dammit... Then end up doing loads of damage and setting yourself back waaay further than if you'd just gone to bed at an appropriate hour. Be warned, knitterfolk!!

Weirdly, I did it right for the back half, then lost the plot at the shoulder seam. This is what it should have looked like!


I'm off to do some frogging and maybe also a sacrifice of cheap acrylic to appease the knittergods...

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Zips. Apparently there are different kinds.

So after finishing rubbishknitterjunior's duffel coat, I had been rather worried about the gap down the front between the toggles. It's just been so ludicrously cold recently, and the last thing you need is a draughty duffel. And then, late one night whilst rummaging in my Drawer of Haberdashery I stumbled across a lonely zip, not only of a matching colour, but amazingly, also the right length! This was too good to be true - a serendipitous zip find sent from the gods of knitting - it was meant to be! We were just about to start watching the new star trek film so I hastily grabbed the coat, a needle and a reel of cotton and settled myself onto the sofa to hand sew it in. It took nearly the whole film and I may have been a bit distracted by the intergalactic adventures but what did it matter? My handsewing is terrible, but with a thin navy blue thread against big hairy thick yarn, you can't see it at all. I was beginning to feel very pleased with myself. And then, as the credits rolled, I lifted the coat proudly aloft to show to Mr Rubbishknitter, and pulled down the zip. And kept pulling. Damn thing appeared to be stuck. Hang on, let me give it a bit of a yank... this is the sort of problem that a bit of brute force and ignorance would surely solve....

It took an embarrassingly long time to realise that this zip was never going to open fully. It was the wrong kind of zip, the kind that you would use to close a bag or a seam at the top of a skirt. These zips just never separate into two halves, even if you yank them impatiently for about 5 minutes. The knitting gods, they mock me! Well son, I don't have the willpower to buy another zip and redo it, so this duffel coat, I'm afraid will be taken on and off over your head forever as a testament to maternal foolishness.


Ah well I suppose at least he is at least a bit warmer now... this is his current dogwalking attire... there is a child there somewhere under the woolly goods

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a cautionary tale

If anyone was wondering in the last post how I knew that Rowan RYC Cashsoft DK isn't actually machine washable, it should hopefully become clear now. Yes, it's the amazing differentially felted stripy jumper!1!1 (No, it's not your eyes, the beige stripes really are half the size of the other ones now. Yes, you are allowed to laugh.)


Fortunately in this case I'm not all that bothered - it was a quick, functional knit for the child, and it's still wearable, if slightly odd looking. It could have been an awful lot worse, if I'd machine washed the tank top first. Every time I see this stripe, I am just full of relief that it happened this way round. Also on the plus side, you can see that the other yarns wash marvellously (King Cole Merino, Rowan Pure Wool, Patons Diploma Gold). Just thought I'd mention it in case anyone else was tempted to throw an elaborately handcrafted garment made of Rowan RYC Cashsoft DK in the machine. Don't do it I tell you! Learn from my foolish mistakes...
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crafty balls up of the day

Top tip. When attempting to sew a cushion cover, if you have just put in a zip down one side and are feeling quite pleased with yourself. Before putting right sides together and sewing round the other three edges, it might be an idea to open said zip. Otherwise, as any numpty can plainly see, you are going to have extreme difficulty turning the thing inside out. Leaving you with something that is neither decorative nor useful. *Reaches sheepishly for seam ripper*.

I had hoped I could accomplish a simple cushion cover without recourse to an internet tutorial, but clearly I still need google to hold my hand through this area of textile adventuring.
Maybe I should change my name by deed poll to once-rubbish-now-probably-fairly-average-knitter-but-still-mindbogglingly-thick-at-sewing. Catchy! I bet that userid is still available on ravelry too.
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crafty balls up of the day

Heaven forbid you may, one day, find yourself in a situation where the last few projects you have done have all had Tension Issues. This sorry state of affairs may lead you to rethink your devil-may-care knitting attitude and actually, like, do a proper swatch for something.

Should this unfortunate set of circumstances ever arise, you might decide that you really are going to do what you're told this time, and wash and block the swatch.

If you do go to all this effort, it would be somewhat foolish to render it all useless by not actually bothering to wait till the swatch is dry before you measure it. This will lead you to panic, wonder why your gauge is so loose, and cast on a couple of sizes too small. It's only a day later while a stroke of incredible good fortune leads you to casually repurpose your swatch as a beer holder, that you may notice it has shrunk considerably. Wet things are bigger than dry things.

Ah well, back to the original size that I was going to cast on for anyway before I had this foolhardy swatching idea....

I suppose this whole sorry misadventure has at least given me this attractive beerholder though.

It may, or may not ever evolve into Eunny Jang's Deep V Argyle Vest. Maybe with a slightly shallower V. Having breastfed a baby for nearly a year now, I'm looking forward to putting my boobs away for a bit. Under some nice Rowan RYC Cashsoft DK.
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crafty balls-up of the day

The supremely well sewn on popper fell off and needed reattaching. So, er... can you see what I did there?

Ta-da! It's a moebius bib!1!1

Truly, I am a tool of the highest order. I can't even be bothered to fix it right now - its only raison d'etre is to be puked on, it doesn't deserve this amount of my attention... I think my need for caffeinated beverages is more pressing!
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